Sunday, January 4, 2009

A Tribute to my Husband – James Paul Staples (1951-2003)

James at age 3.
James just before his leaving on a mission to Mexico.
Our new family on our wedding day, 1986.
Our Christmas picture for 1992.

This has been awhile in coming, as I just couldn’t seem to write the words down.

James was one of the very intellectual people on this earth, who had a very spiritual intelligence.  He graduated from BYU and then onto chiropractic schooling. He graduated from Palmer Chiropractic School and chose that as his profession.

He could sing, play the piano, write music, did drama in high school, gardener, and had many other talents. He loved his children and was a great father and grandfather.

We got married in 1986. James married all 3 of us, me and my two daughters from a previous marriage. James and I have 2 children, giving us 3 daughters and 1 son. We also have thus far 5 grandchildren.

When we first were married I moved with my daughters from Los Angeles area to Lompoc where James had a chiropractic business. We loved Lompoc and our son was born there. James next job landed us in Salinas, California, so moved up there. I liked Salinas to see how vegetables were grown and bought to market. Our youngest was born there. Our oldest daughter got married, her husband was in the Army and they moved to Kansas. When they had our first grandchild, we thought it would be nice to live close by to have the fun of being grandparents.  Second daughter graduated from high school and lived with my sister, due to a scholarship in that area, so we moved. We have been in Kansas ever since.

In August of 2002, James had two great jobs. One was teaching at a local college and one at the local airport, as a TSA person. In October we went to our doctors to see if he had pneumonia, the doctor came back after a chest x-ray and told us James had two weeks to live. He had Adenocarsanoma, lung cancer. James never smoked, so that really shocked us. We were grateful that James made it through the holiday season to be with us. At the end of December we thought he was getting better as more x-rays, showed improvement. He also had over 15 tumors in his brain and they were dissolving during the 2 months of treatment. He never had chemo, but did have radiation treatments for his lung and brain. We decided together to try natural treatments and they seemed to help especially with the pain, but the cancer just took over his body everywhere. The many doctors we went to, were surprised at how much James knew on what was going on with his body. I think he might have taught them a thing or two on his treatments. A couple of them told me at the knowledge he had.

We looked at all the test results and x-rays. James and I both agreed that even though cancer destroys the body, it was interesting to look at the x-rays and see what’s inside.

In our wedding book there is a page that asked a question of “Will you marry me?” Since James was kind enough to answer that for me, I will write down why I married him.

James and I dated for almost 2 years.  He was at the time dating 3 women and he chose me, who knows why, but I am glad he did.  I really enjoyed talking to him. Especially about church and spiritual things, we had many great conversions about this, even to the end. I miss our Sundays of coming home from church and discussing what we had learned. And of course, I thought he was cute. He said I was cute in “a kinda sort of way.” Go figure that one, as I never did, but am glad he said I was his Miss America at our wedding. I realized that after he was gone we really did compliment each other.

We were married for just a little over 16 ½ years, things were not always “rosey”, but we knew we wanted to succeed in our marriage and be an eternal family someday.  We would have had six children, but I had 4 miscarriages, so we are grateful to have the two healthy children we do have. I am so glad James got to be a grandfather before he passed; his grandchildren loved him so much. We went to his gravesite every Sunday after church and one of our grandchildren, looked down and asked, “Grandpa, are you still down there?” Children are so innocent. We don’t go as often anymore, but do remember him everyday; he will always be in our hearts. I strive everyday to live to be worthy to be with him again.

James died 6 years ago today.

I miss you JP……

If you are wondering, what church we belong to, it is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. One thing that I can say that I have succeeded in is that being a member of His church for 35+ years. Go to to find out more information, it is a cool site.

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